BROKEN HEARTS CAN HEAL


She sleeps with everybody!
Dear Kemi,
I met this girl in your December 2013,
edition. Initially, distance was our challenge but we resolved that on January
13, 2014, when she visited me for the first time. We ended up in bed. I was
stunned the next day when another suitor had her. Prior to our meeting, she had
shared her dirty past with me on the three abortions she had. She said she was sleeping
with her friend’s boyfriend and her room-mates in school. She sleeps with men,
even those she comes across on the Internet. She can have sex anywhere
including her parents’ house and shop. The worst was when she got a job in
Lagos and had to put up at her uncle’s place. Vexed by her unrepentant
character, I visited her there, messed her up and called it quit. Did I go too
far?
O.B,
Ondo.
Yes, you did go too
far. That she is

unrepentant of her ways does not warrant
you raping her. Obviously, you never loved her but wanted her body and not
ready to help her. Meeting anyone (male or female) on this platform is not to
have cheap sex or extort money from them. It is for two consenting adults to
meet and make something worthwhile of their relationship with each other. She
has a problem, which, if you are willing, could be resolved by your love. Go
back, apologise and find a way to help her out.
Help! My husband hates me!
Dear Kemi,
I have been in a
relationship for 11 years but we have been married for four years with three children.  I have never enjoyed marital bliss and
everything became a nightmare when I had my first child. My husband calls me
names in the presence of his friends and family members, to the extent that
they don’t respect me. He beats me up whenever there is an argument and he does
not take me or the children out. Whenever I go out with my friends; he refers
to me as a lesbian! Now, I have started avoiding my friends. I have not
received any gift from him neither does he kiss or hug me. I am thinking of
leaving him but my mother disagreed because of my children.  I cannot bear it anymore. What do I do?
P.J
Lagos
I would not advise divorce because
these issues are subject to changes as long as both of you are determined to
build a peaceful home together. I know something went wrong somewhere because
you did not say he was like that during your seven years of courtship. It is
wrong for a husband to insult his wife before his relatives but don’t address
it violently.  As a wife, learn to make
peace; understand what he complains about and which areas he wants a change
from you too. On the issue of spousal abuse, do all you can to avoid arguing
with him. Doesn’t he have someone he respects that you can report him to?
Please find out and see if that will work.
I can’t please my wife
Dear Kemi,
 I am 30 years old and married with two children.
But my wife has never been happy since the first day of marriage. I have asked
her what was wrong but she would not answer, rather, she would say she knew
what she was doing. I have tried all I could to please her—cook if she was not
back from her shop and  boost the
business with over N500, 000— yet she is not happy with me. She is expecting
our third child, yet she is not happy. What do I do?
M.L
Abuja
Then, open up to her parents if they
can probe into her mind and tell you what is happening. On the other hand,
there are some who suffer psychological trauma due to certain incidents. You
have done all to please her and I think it is high time you knew what is
actually happening.
 I
love him but he’s poor
Dear Kemi,
I have been dating
this man for over six months and he wants to marry me but my mother does not
like him. Her complaints are that he is from Edo State and that he is not rich.
What do I do because I love him?
K.P,
Osun
I think she should be made to realise
that love is the most important factor in a union and not money or state of
origin. What if the man gets rich in future? Or what has state of origin got to
do with the future of a marriage? Don’t quarrel with her but let her know you
are in love and not ready to leave him for these reasons.
I saw him in a vision
Dear Kemi,
I am 25 years old and a
final-year undergraduate. I met this man through his sister, who is my friend.
He is 27 years old and works in an oil company in Delta State. We became
friends and after a while, I had a vision that he is my life partner. When I
told him about this, he was so happy but replied that though he also wanted me,
he would not give me an answer until he had prayed about it too. Later, I found
out that he took me as a cheap girl, who was throwing herself at him! I had to
send him a text message that I was no longer interested and he replied that he
was happy at my decision and waited for it all this while. Really, I saw this
vision, not that I lied, what do I do?
A.D,
Lagos
Since you had a vision that he was yours, maybe you should have
exercised patience and not sent the text message. Moreover, I don’t think it
was wise telling him about the vision. That was why he ended up seeing you as
cheap. I know God is a God of order and definite instructions. He must have
instructed you on how to go about the vision. You should have also prayed for
God to show the same vision to the guy in order to avoid any confusion. Maybe
you need to go back and really pray on what to do.
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