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| Laurie. Photo: TY Bello |
Laurie Idahosa is married to FEB, the first son of late
Archbishop Benson Idahosa. Their 14th wedding anniversary is in October. She
shares their challenge with infertility and testimony
The
journey
When we
were told shortly after marriage that there was only a .01 % chance of us
having children naturally, we never blamed ourselves. We were shocked and
disappointed with the situation because it wasn’t something we foresaw. Being
married to the only son of the late Archbishop Benson Idahosa was an added
pressure on me because everyone expected me to give the Idahosa family an heir.
I learned very quickly that in the African culture, nobody would look at him,
but instead all eyes would be on me and
my belly. Our infertility challenges were with both of us. Mine included PCOS (Polycystic ovarian syndrome)
, a blocked tube, severe endometriosis and an inverted uterus while his (FEB)
was male-factor infertility.
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| Laurie with hubby, FEB |
Don’t feel
insecure
However,
we didn’t feel insecure or inadequate but decided to see it as an opportunity
for God to create a miracle, just as He had done for my husband’s parents in
the 1970’s, when they didn’t have children immediately. So my husband kept
declaring in faith that God would give us our children. The truth is, neither
of us would have known what the issues were if we had not undergone diagnostic
testing. We were blessed to have had the resources to find out what the
challenges were. We strongly felt that God could handle the case and
miraculously He did. Our story is long and emotionally charged, but the
shortened version is that we are now blessed with three naturally conceived
boys. They are 7, 4 and 3 years old.
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| Miracle babies:Feb Jr., Nathaniel and Judah Idahosa Photo: Instagram |
Sharing
with family, friends?
We kept it
very quiet within a small circle of people we could trust. We did inform my
parents, his mother and a few close friends. We did not share details of our
journey until it became a testimony. I even went as far as to using a fake name
for myself in the online support groups that I belonged to. We wanted to remain
private, however, when God stepped in and we had our children, we felt
compelled to share this remarkable miracle with the world and encourage couples
to have faith to believe in the impossible.
Invitro
Fertilization
We are
both very meticulous and detailed people. FEB kept an eye on the timing for the
injections, even going as far as using an app on his phone to ensure that I
received the treatments on time. It also helped that during the treatment
cycles we were not working a daily 9-5 job. We live and work in Nigeria at
Benson Idahosa University and the treatments were done in the US. We were
blessed to have the freedom to be on a medical vacation whenever the treatments
were happening. We stayed sane because we took on the project together.
The child died
Sadly we
saw the child die despite the best efforts of the doctors. We were given time
to mourn our child after a ‘time of death’ had been called and with all the
pain and the tears that flowed, my husband and I knew in our hearts that we
were already parents. I wanted to try for another baby right away but it was
not possible at the time as I had undergone a C-section and we were advised
against going into an IVF treatment so soon. We came back to Nigeria after this
and immediately started putting our efforts into a women and children’s
hospital in Benin City called “Big Ben Children’s hospital” in memory of our
first son. While we were working, God gave us a natural pregnancy without the
aid of Assisted Reproduction or IVF. That pregnancy resulted in a baby boy who
is now seven years old. We had two subsequent natural pregnancies after that
and those boys are now 4 and 3 years old.
