I am 34 years old. I was impregnated by a boyfriend 20 years ago. Then, I was still in secondary school and he did not accept paternity. Meanwhile, a pastor told me not to have an abortion. Later, a friend of mine advised that I looked for someone that would accept the pregnancy. So, I allowed another man sleep with me and he married me and we had two other children after my firstborn. The problem now is that the first man, who impregnated me, is asking for his baby! I am troubled. What would happen if I reveal this to my husband, who believes all the three children are his? What happens to my marriage? Where would I place my face in the society? Advise me because I am dying everyday since this matter occurred.
It is such a difficult situation, especially now that the 20-year-old child believes and sees your husband as the father, and also bears his name. I would have told you to keep this as a secret, tell the runaway father that you lost the baby, and allow life be the same in your marriage. But that is sinful and a great injustice to the child’s generation whose roots have been twisted. Though not the perfect answer, I think it’s high time you told your husband what happened. First, it relieves the tension in you and prevents you from being hypertensive. Secondly, you have released your son from a curse that could have trailed his generation. Telling your husband means that many things would change in your life—marriage, your relationship with your children and others—but it remains the best. If we all think of what the society would say, then God’s will can never be done and we will continue to live in darkness. I just pray that your husband is strong enough to receive this shocking news and handle it maturely.