Many spinsters, in their minds have created the kind of partners they desired—a dashing young man with a good job, a rich widower who needs comfort, a struggling bachelor with prospects, a married man who also desires another wife. These women confessed why poor men can’t be their choices:
Cynthia, 28, employed in a pharmaceutical company in Port-harcourt definitely has her standards. “I had dated some struggling young men while in the university and as a youth corper. I must confess that there is nothing as great as dating a rich guy,” she began.
“When I was younger, I have always dreamt of marrying a man, who would love me with all his heart, sweep me off my feet and cater for every need in my life. I was really obsessed with this dream that I was conscious about the status of my dates but I was deceived by some of them and I ended up with some struggling young men. Now, I am being pressured at home to get married but I must marry a very comfortable man.”
Her request? “He must be working in a blue chip company, have a car, be ready for marriage in the next six months and ready to establish a good enterprise for me after I have had two kids. My mother suffered in my father’s house and I do not think I should go through same stress. I have targeted some young guys in my church and I know I would soon be engaged.
Great dreams. Good thoughts. Even Agnes desired same. “I spent the better part of 2017 feeding a useless fellow called Kaz in my flat in Abuja,” she said.
According to the 35-year-old telecommunication expert, she thought he was her answered prayers. “He had this charisma that cannot be resisted and I must have fallen for it. He was customer to a friend and was always driving around Abuja in very exotic cars. He was always dressed in designers’ clothes and had a flat in a choice area. I was happy to have caught a big fish and when he started sleeping over at my place, I thought he needed company. I fed him and before I knew what was happening, he had collected almost N500,000 from me! I discovered later that he was a fraudster and was apprehended by anti graft agents. After Kaz, I was advised to stoop lower and get a promising young guy. I tried it but ended up spending my income on him. Now, I want a man who is very comfortable, one I can run to for help financially, emotionally and who would not be interested in my salary. Keeping a poor man is not good for one’s purse. I prefer men who are six-footer, huge and fair-complexioned,” said Martha, 32 and a civil servant. Ironically, all the men asking for her hand in marriage are short.
“I think I am not too tall, so I need a tall man, who would make me feel secured whenever I am with him. But since I was jilted by Ted, I cannot just get a tall guy. There is a guy I am dating now. Really, he is any woman’s dream-nice, caring, supportive and with a listening ear but he is short. In fact, I don’t like introducing him to my friends and he had observed it. I lied to him that I would not want any of them to snatch him from me and that he was too handsome! Really, he is handsome but he is 5ft! I like him but the feelings are not enough to walk down the aisle with him.”
Ibukun, 28, is in a dilemma of whether or not to compromise her standards. Just graduated from school, she had been in this relationship for close to eight months now. “We actually met at an event and we exchanged phone numbers. We started talking for a long time on the phone before he finally asked me out. Lately, I’m not too keen about it. I want to break up the affair but I’m not sure if he would understand my reasons because I don’t think I can tell him.Though this guy is everything you can think of, he is not good-looking, not rich and from a not-too-impressive background. I’ve observed that I’m not proud of him and hardly would I show him to my friends or family members. Our communication has been strained but he tries to make me realize that he loves me. I’m really confused. Do I go for him or look for another?
Let’s Get Talking
Nothing wrong in having standards especially in making choices of life partners but there is need for caution. Really, nobody should be advised to stay in a relationship that the partner cannot be appreciated because obviously, love is lost and might not be regained until those things desired are in place. But are these reasons not too mundane in your choice of a boyfriend/life partner? I could be wrong but I think that many ladies are too interested in what they see now and not what lies ahead. A rich, dashing young man from an enviable background? A rich bachelor? A rich widower? Don’t positions/status change? Can’t they be reversed? Maybe many single ladies are blind and would not see ahead of the present. The choice and workings of your ‘miracles’ are now in your hands, so start the search. Mind you in every trash, there is (are) treasure (s). Never give up on any man because you would never know when his change will come.
