Your
marriage to Daniel Ademinokan was celebrated as one of the best in the
industry…
marriage to Daniel Ademinokan was celebrated as one of the best in the
industry…
Initially, it was but at a point everything looked rosy
outside but not at home. He just woke up one day and decided he didn’t want the
marriage again.
outside but not at home. He just woke up one day and decided he didn’t want the
marriage again.
What
actually happened? Was there another woman?
actually happened? Was there another woman?
I can’t say what actually happened. I did not suspect if he
was dating any woman or not because we were the best of friends. I trusted him
too. When the problem started, I was begging him for reconciliation. I am an
orphan with nobody to run to but his family members, who also tried to
intervene. At a point they fought with him because he stopped picking their
calls, even his pastor. Before the separation, I suggested counselling but he promised
to turn around for good. He did not. He would leave the house for some days and
would not pick my calls. He also accused me of nagging and policing him around.
At a point, he came back and told me it was lack of money that caused the
problems. As a good wife, I suggested we pray about it. He told me one day that
he wanted to go and see his mother and took our only son with him (the union
produced just a child). I didn’t suspect anything because they usually went out
together. That was the last time I saw of my then 2-year-old son.
was dating any woman or not because we were the best of friends. I trusted him
too. When the problem started, I was begging him for reconciliation. I am an
orphan with nobody to run to but his family members, who also tried to
intervene. At a point they fought with him because he stopped picking their
calls, even his pastor. Before the separation, I suggested counselling but he promised
to turn around for good. He did not. He would leave the house for some days and
would not pick my calls. He also accused me of nagging and policing him around.
At a point, he came back and told me it was lack of money that caused the
problems. As a good wife, I suggested we pray about it. He told me one day that
he wanted to go and see his mother and took our only son with him (the union
produced just a child). I didn’t suspect anything because they usually went out
together. That was the last time I saw of my then 2-year-old son.
When
was that?
was that?
That was about four years ago. The boy is six years old now.
(This interview was published in SUNDAY
PUNCH of September 28, 2014)
(This interview was published in SUNDAY
PUNCH of September 28, 2014)
Didyou take any action then?
If I let it weigh me down, he would use it as a ground to
fight me in court. I have not spoken to the boy for about a year now. I am sure
that even if he runs away with my child for 18 years, the boy will ask after
me. I am his mother. Currently, the case is in court.
fight me in court. I have not spoken to the boy for about a year now. I am sure
that even if he runs away with my child for 18 years, the boy will ask after
me. I am his mother. Currently, the case is in court.
Is
there room for reconciliation?
there room for reconciliation?
I am not ready to reconcile with him.
Why?
It is going to four years since we split and I do not see anything
wrong in that. Maybe because of the things he said when I sought to reconcile.
I wanted reconciliation when the whole thing started but he said it was too
late. He never said what the problem was. It was a normal hassle between couples.
I am not a pastor but just human, like everyone else. If he says I cannot force
him into a marriage that he is no longer interested in, why would he want to
come back now?
wrong in that. Maybe because of the things he said when I sought to reconcile.
I wanted reconciliation when the whole thing started but he said it was too
late. He never said what the problem was. It was a normal hassle between couples.
I am not a pastor but just human, like everyone else. If he says I cannot force
him into a marriage that he is no longer interested in, why would he want to
come back now?
But the
custody of your child…
custody of your child…
People live separately and still have children. The child is
with him and they are abroad but he does not have custody of the child. I don’t
want to talk about it because the case is in court.
with him and they are abroad but he does not have custody of the child. I don’t
want to talk about it because the case is in court.
Do you
have access to the child?
have access to the child?
At the moment ( Sept ember, 2014), I do not have access to
the child because they are not in the country. But I want to leave it for the
court to judge. After then, whatever he court says I should do, I would do it.
the child because they are not in the country. But I want to leave it for the
court to judge. After then, whatever he court says I should do, I would do it.
Now
separated, do men still ask you out?
separated, do men still ask you out?
At the very beginning when it all started, I had men coming
but I felt they just wanted to take advantage of the whole issue. At that
particular time, I did not want it too. I wanted to focus on my life and
career. I also wanted to shame the enemy and make him know that I do not rely
on a particular man to make it in life. I am not a lazy woman either.
but I felt they just wanted to take advantage of the whole issue. At that
particular time, I did not want it too. I wanted to focus on my life and
career. I also wanted to shame the enemy and make him know that I do not rely
on a particular man to make it in life. I am not a lazy woman either.
But
the incidence must have taken toll on you?
the incidence must have taken toll on you?
Yes, it did initially because I loved him. It broke me down
for about a year but I decided one day to move on. I learnt from my mum not to
listen to what people say but maintain focus and I did.
for about a year but I decided one day to move on. I learnt from my mum not to
listen to what people say but maintain focus and I did.
Do you still
communicate?
communicate?
At the moment, because of the court case, we don’t. He initiated
the court case, sent me divorce papers but when my lawyer saw it, he discovered
it was fake! That made me initiate my own divorce case too.
the court case, sent me divorce papers but when my lawyer saw it, he discovered
it was fake! That made me initiate my own divorce case too.
Where
and how did you meet him?
and how did you meet him?
We met at a movie location. He was a movie director.
Do youwant to remarry?
I have moved on with my life. If marriage comes I will get
married, if it does not come, I will remain single but I have some plans. Before
my marriage problems, I have always had it in mind to help humanity. It is one
of the things I am trying to do very soon. I want to help young widows who are
suffering.
married, if it does not come, I will remain single but I have some plans. Before
my marriage problems, I have always had it in mind to help humanity. It is one
of the things I am trying to do very soon. I want to help young widows who are
suffering.
*Editor’s note: Doris granted a TV interview in December
2015 that she was travelling abroad to see her son.
2015 that she was travelling abroad to see her son.
