Kemi Filani is one of the foremost bloggers in Nigeria and over the years, she has proved her worth in online publishing. The petite spinster is getting married on March 18, 2017 to Adeyemi Emmanuel, an accountant. In this exclusive interview with Kemiashefonlovehaven, she narrates how she met her beau
How did you meet each other?
We started out as cool friends after being colleagues for a few years, and then love happened.
What was the physical attraction?
For him, it was love at first sight but for me, I wouldn’t say there was any form of physical attraction at first. When he began professing his love to me, I was giving my attention and time to someone else that I was physically attracted but God’s will eventually prevailed.
Any spiritual ‘touch’ to it. I mean, was there a voice from God that he is your guy?
Well, when things got really serious between us, I decided to seek God’s face. Babe was convinced but I needed to be sure even though I sort of knew deep down that it was him. I have heard cases where God reveals the man in the dreams, through voices and signs and I wasn’t getting any of these so I was taking things slowly. I was waiting for an answer from God after I prayed and fasted but I wasn’t exactly listening to what He was saying to me. The Lord was showing me an open door but I kept asking for direction instead of looking at the door he has opened. It wasn’t until I had a father-daughter conversation with my dad early 2016 that I had the confirmation. During our conversation, I said, Daddy I have not dreamt about him or heard any voice to show that he is the one and then my dad said it is not just through dreams or voices, there are other ways and he mentioned inner peace and I knew it right there. All along, I had this inner peace when it comes to him, unlike the other suitors I was receiving attention from, I had peace with Babe, plus he’s so humble and cares too much. God’s will is usually peaceful!
The general belief is that blogging takes a lot of your time and you might not have time to socialize and meet a guy? How were you able to detach from this anti-social ‘vice’ of blogging?
Blogging truly takes my time but it doesn’t stop me from socialising when I have to. It is all about good planning and balancing.
How did he propose to you?
He proposed several times. The first time he asked me to marry him was during our first date (when we met physically in 2014) but I didn’t think I was ready then and I didn’t even take him seriously because I felt he was too blunt. You are meeting me for the first time and the next thing is asking me to marry you, please shift! Even when I wasn’t giving him any chance, he was still persistent; he didn’t give up because he was convinced that I was the one for him. Sometimes during conversations and dates, he would ask, ‘Babe, marry me, please.’ and I will tease him by asking him to come up with a dramatic surprise proposal before saying yes to him.
I eventually accepted to marry him after the conversation I had with my dad. He however officially proposed with a ring on my birthday last year (2016).
Did you know he would propose?
No I didn’t as a matter of fact I wasn’t expecting it at all. We had already done our family introduction weeks before then and plans were already under way for our wedding so I had accepted the fate of not receiving an engagement ring.
What was your initial reaction to his proposal?
I laughed. He gave me the impression he was travelling days before; so I resolved to a private low key birthday celebration with my immediate family. I thought I had seen it all when he showed up with a surprise birthday cake, appearance and gift. Only for him to go on his knees about an hour later, while we were all watching a movie in the sitting room. He brought out the ring case and my siblings started clapping and bringing out their phones to capture the moment. I can’t even remember all the words he was saying, I was just too excited that I finally got a ring when I least expected it.
What would be your advice to spinsters?
Be open minded even as you are waiting on God for your spouse because there is no such thing as a perfect mate. Every lady wants the best but it is God’s will that eventually matters. People are flawed. I’m not suggesting you lower your impossible standards for finding the right mate, but you might want to relax your checklist for acceptable suitors. Often, ‘Mr. Good Enough’ turns out in the end, to be your ‘Mr. Perfect’, because you are able to live through the flaws to see the real goodness in the man that your previous societal brainwashing had prevented you from directly witnessing.