Former Miss Nigeria United Kingdom, 2009/2010, Dabota Lawson, has taken to Instagram again to advise women on the raging domestic violence which has become commonplace in some celebrity marriages.
Once married to billionaire businessman, Sunny Aku, the ex beauty queen has been advising ladies on how best to treat themselves before men and place value on their bodies.
Her latest advises ladies on who and what kind of lover they should fall in love with and those they should dump.
The CEO of a beauty range who just built a shopping mall in Lekki Lagos writes:
“Anybody who comes into your life in the name of relationship then tries to isolate you from the people who love you such as family and good friends want to DESTROY YOU.
Love should not feel restrictive. Control, manipulation and obsession aren’t signs of true, passionate love — they are signs that your partner is controlling and manipulative. These are the signs of a potentially abusive partner, a partner who forces you to dress in a certain way. ….. Forbids you from interacting with family or friends. ….. Makes You Feel Guilty When You Spend Time With Your Friends. ….. Criticize Lots of Small Things That You Do in such a manipulative way that you don’t even know you’re being controlled. ….. Never allows you any form of privacy.
Even people who are deeply in love are allowed to have some privacy. ….. claims to “protect” you by taking control of your finances, chasing away a friend, or keeping close tabs on where you are and what you’re doing at all times isn’t looking out for you — they’re trying to make you dependent on them. ….Apart from trying to cut you off your support system, they make you begin to question your own sense of judgment and eventually your sanity….. A partner who Tries to indirectly scare, manipulate and control you by telling you scary stories of unfortunate events that has happened in the lives of people they have been in a relationship/ marriage with in the past and how they attacked /destroyed or dealt with people who dare offend them is an abusive person who will eventually become physically violent.
“Please stop looking for hope in their “small kindness”, that really is about them and not you especially when they know they’re losing you. This is a method used in order for you to reaffirm the lies that you tell yourself “oh he has a soft side.”
Emotionally bonding with an abuser is actually a strategy for survival for victims of abuse and intimidation. Please people stop judging people who are crying out for help. Stop it. Just stop it. Reach out … There is a thin line between life and death. Let’s not loose people we love because of the lack of self control and insecurity of another.” (sic)