Help, I am lonely
Handling
loneliness is like handling other life pressures. Here are experiences of some singles
loneliness is like handling other life pressures. Here are experiences of some singles
Margaret,
34, is employed. She is able to afford a few luxuries to make her happy but she
would tell you that: “I’m very lonely!” How true could her statement be? “I
leave home early in the morning, close late, come back to an empty flat and I
start life the next day. I have tried dating some guys but they are all committed
one way or the other. I also attend church services, social functions and a few
dates but there is nothing like having a home of yours where your husband and
children are! I have never been a rough
single but just unfortunate to get myself in this mess. I eat, sleep, attend
church, fall sick alone, treat myself alone, none to say sorry, talk more on
the phone to friends and then dream of no man in particular! I have watched all
the films in the world and even tired of watching them. What do I do?”
34, is employed. She is able to afford a few luxuries to make her happy but she
would tell you that: “I’m very lonely!” How true could her statement be? “I
leave home early in the morning, close late, come back to an empty flat and I
start life the next day. I have tried dating some guys but they are all committed
one way or the other. I also attend church services, social functions and a few
dates but there is nothing like having a home of yours where your husband and
children are! I have never been a rough
single but just unfortunate to get myself in this mess. I eat, sleep, attend
church, fall sick alone, treat myself alone, none to say sorry, talk more on
the phone to friends and then dream of no man in particular! I have watched all
the films in the world and even tired of watching them. What do I do?”
So is
Ken. In his late 40s, he is still single. “I had an attack on my cardiac
sometimes last year and almost died because there was nobody to help me at
home. I cook, I wash, I sleep, watch television, visit friends and back to
work. I have tried dating one or two ladies but we just did not click! I wanted
to eat a local dish last week and had to call my younger sister to help send it
down from her house! I am not a great cook and eat mostly from restaurants but
I really want a fulfilled life where a woman is by my side to attend to my
basic needs. Not sex, but companionship.”
Ken. In his late 40s, he is still single. “I had an attack on my cardiac
sometimes last year and almost died because there was nobody to help me at
home. I cook, I wash, I sleep, watch television, visit friends and back to
work. I have tried dating one or two ladies but we just did not click! I wanted
to eat a local dish last week and had to call my younger sister to help send it
down from her house! I am not a great cook and eat mostly from restaurants but
I really want a fulfilled life where a woman is by my side to attend to my
basic needs. Not sex, but companionship.”
Tai is
divorced with two kids who are in the boarding school. “So you can imagine the
loneliness when these kids are not home! There are times I would almost run
mad! One day, I called my former husband and started raining curses on him. He
is lucky to have found another woman and settled down in his third marriage!
Not that men have not been coming; they get scared when they see my kids. I
have a friend now (he is married) but I don’t want to be serious with him
because that could affect his home. I know what that means to any woman and I
would not be a party to that. It could be terribly lonely and I plan starting
another life. But with who?
divorced with two kids who are in the boarding school. “So you can imagine the
loneliness when these kids are not home! There are times I would almost run
mad! One day, I called my former husband and started raining curses on him. He
is lucky to have found another woman and settled down in his third marriage!
Not that men have not been coming; they get scared when they see my kids. I
have a friend now (he is married) but I don’t want to be serious with him
because that could affect his home. I know what that means to any woman and I
would not be a party to that. It could be terribly lonely and I plan starting
another life. But with who?
WHAT TO DO
Handling
loneliness is like handling other life pressures.
loneliness is like handling other life pressures.
First, realise your state and
don’t pretend it does not exist. Sex is not the only reason for relationship,
why not get creatively engaged in one/two activities?
don’t pretend it does not exist. Sex is not the only reason for relationship,
why not get creatively engaged in one/two activities?
Learn to explore your
hobbies, be friendlier and never see anyone as responsible for your problem
because everyone has a kettle of fish to deal with.
hobbies, be friendlier and never see anyone as responsible for your problem
because everyone has a kettle of fish to deal with.
Are the men not coming?
Don’t panic, stay focused, be more prayerful and don’t give up. You could be
one of the few last minute miracle receivers. Maybe what most singles don’t
realise is that God does not reason like human beings.
Don’t panic, stay focused, be more prayerful and don’t give up. You could be
one of the few last minute miracle receivers. Maybe what most singles don’t
realise is that God does not reason like human beings.
There is a purpose for
that state you are and make sure you make the best use of it. If convenient,
employ a match-maker or encourage such moves from friends/trusted relatives,
who know other responsible singles elsewhere.
that state you are and make sure you make the best use of it. If convenient,
employ a match-maker or encourage such moves from friends/trusted relatives,
who know other responsible singles elsewhere.
Finally, dump pity-party, it adds
to your sorrow and do all you can to remain happy.
to your sorrow and do all you can to remain happy.